Cole Palmer killed our season

After throwing away three points at Chelsea, United ended up being sunk by their feeble goal difference

FIVE ASIDES Premier League: Brighton 0, United 2

United won the battle, but they lost the war. In fact they won the last two battles and it still wasn’t enough. They finished level with Newcastle on points (60), wins (18), draws (six) and defeats (14), but nowhere near them on goal difference. One side ended up with +23, the other with -1. Newcastle racked up an 8-0, two 5-1s and two 4-0s, and two of those five hammerings were inflicted on teams above them. United’s biggest wins were the 3-0s against Everton and West Ham. They couldn’t score four goals, in any competition, without conceding two or three. They were hardly ever dominant. They really can’t claim that they were robbed.

The crucial moment came at Stamford Bridge on 4 April. After 99 minutes, United were 3-2 up. If they had held onto that lead, and all the other results had remained the same, they would have swapped places with Chelsea – United would have finished sixth on 63 points, Chelsea eighth on 60. And so it was that nine months of hard work hinged on two minutes of madness. Cole Palmer killed our season.

For United, Brighton was a game of two opportunities: to give a sad story a happy ending, and to hold a dress rehearsal. For most of the match it went wrong on both counts. Brighton were a lot brighter than United, who looked as if they had never tried their new formation before, let alone beaten Newcastle with it. After not being themselves for weeks, Brighton were back on brand, playing fluid football. This did not bode well for Wembley: anything Brighton can do, City can do ten times better. But the Brighton forwards either missed the target or hit the ball straight at André Onana or his assistant goalies, Lisandro Martinez and Casemiro. Then, after 70 minutes, United were suddenly clinical. Diogo Dalot struck the first goal like a striker after racing onto Casemiro’s chipped through ball. If Dalot wasn’t built like a chip van, you’d say he ghosted into the box. 

Rasmus Højlund gave Dalot a hand by doing just enough to disturb the nearest centre-back without incurring a whistle. Then he sealed the win with an instant replay of his goal against Newcastle – pulling away from two defenders and hitting a precise shot with his weaker foot, his right. Højlund’s goals come in clusters, even more than everyone else’s, and by scoring with his only two shots in these past two appearances off the bench he has given Erik ten Hag a conundrum for the Cup Final. Does he stick with four midfielders – the approach that brought his sole success against City, the 2-1 home win in January 2023 – and have only two forwards, which probably means keeping Højlund on the bench? Or revert to 4-2-3-1 and risk being overrun? Maybe he should just ask himself who are United’s best bets for a goal. The answers are Højlund because he’s in form, Marcus Rashford because he has six goals against City, Bruno Fernandes because (like Rashford) he has two goals in the past four Manchester derbies, and Casemiro because he’s good at set pieces. So Ten Hag could start this XI: Onana; Wan-Bissaka, Varane or Evans, Martinez, Dalot; Casemiro, Amrabat, Mainoo; Fernandes; Højlund, Rashford. Being benched turned Hojlund’s form around, and it could do the same for Alejandro Garnacho.

United ended up with some unwanted milestones. In 32 years of the Premier League, this is the first time they have finished as low as eighth – one worse than 2013-14, the year of David Moyes. It’s the first time they have finished with a negative goal difference – one worse than 2021-22, the year of Ralf Rangnick. According to xG, both these dismal facts flattered United: their xG difference was -13 or so and they should have finished 15th. Still, there’s one thing they are still good at: the BBC Goal of the Season. United had no fewer than three of the nine contenders. There was Rashford for his rocket against City, Fernandes for his volley at Turf Moor, and Garnacho for his overhead kick at Goodison. And the winner was …

Tim de Lisle is the editor of United Writing and a sportswriter for The Guardian. He started supporting United in another season when they finished eighth – 1969-70, with a squad that included Best, Law and Charlton.