Five suggestions for Erik ten Hag
He probably has three games to save his job. Here's how he can help himself
COMMENT Carabao Cup: United 0, Newcastle 3
Erik ten Hag spent Wednesday evening seething, shouting and listening to 7,000 Geordies sing ‘You're getting sacked in the morning.’ That prediction, like so many in sport, was soon proved wrong. But it may only be a matter of timing: ‘You’re getting sacked in a fortnight’ might have been spot-on. If United lose two of their next three games, Ten Hag is probably toast. They could even lose none – beating Luton, drawing at Fulham and Copenhagen – and still leave him on the brink.
Should he stay or should he go? Stay for at least ten days, until the international break. Ten Hag is still in credit from last season, just. On win percentage, he’s not just beating the other permanent managers of the past decade: he’s pipping Alex Ferguson himself (62pc to 58). But this season that figure has plummeted to 47. The honeymoon – which started disastrously, then went like a dream – ended on a Thursday night in April, when United handed two late own-goals to Seville. In the space of nine minutes they somehow went from a strong cup team to a weak one. In eight cup games since, they have lost five, drawn one (the goalless semi-final against Brighton) and won only two (plus the penalty shoot-out that day, which at least showed some character).
The 0-3 against Newcastle was the worst of those eight results. It was worse even than the 2-3 against Galatasaray, because Eddie Howe fielded eight reserves. It wasn’t United’s worst performance, because they were decent for the first quarter of the game and dominant in the third. On expected goals, the defeat was a narrow one (0.6-0.9). Newcastle’s shooting was freakishly accurate, converting quarter-chances into gold. But 0-3 at home is 0-3 at home, and you just can't afford two of those in a row. Against tough opponents this season – the top seven at home, plus Bayern – United have lost 2-0, 3-1, 3-1, 4-3, 3-0 and 3-0. Nul points, and a goal difference of -13. Only one moment to celebrate at home (a long-distance consolation goal by Hannibal against Brighton), and none at all in the past two games. They’re going from bad to worse.
How does Ten Hag turn the ship round? Easier said than done, of course. But even commentators need to be constructive, so here are five suggestions.
(1) Start fessing up to messing up. He keeps saying ‘I take responsibility’ without actually mentioning a mistake. He needs to admit to the players that the pre-season tour was too intense (you know you’ve overdone it when Christian Eriksen protests), that man-marking has made the midfield easier to play through, that Antony has had too many chances, that the defence against City was indefensible.
(2) Have a word with Bruno. ‘You can either be the captain or the complainer in chief, not both. You can’t wear your heart on your sleeve when the armband is there. You’ve had four bookings in the past ten league games: Bobby Charlton, another United captain and attacking midfielder, had one in 758 league games. You’re a fine player but your behaviour is making the team worse.’ The second goal on Wednesday came about largely because several United players were moaning about a free kick which Newcastle, being more on the ball, were already taking. The first goal came about partly because Hannibal was already on a yellow and couldn’t lunge in with his usual recklessness. Yellow cards cost goals.
(3) Get the senior players on board. Take them out for a pizza. Have a drink and a laugh. Then have a proper conversation in which you listen and let them tell you stuff they’ve been bottling up. Tell them one or two things too. Their body language has to be stronger, more upbeat. They can tell the others off for being indisciplined, not for playing the wrong pass. Everything they say or do on the field has to be for the good of the team.
(4) Pick the players in form. Harry Maguire is back to his best, Scott McTominay has been grabbing goals. It’s a bit awkward that you tried to offload them both in the summer, but there you go. They will still give their all, so ink them in. Eriksen has been pretty good, if only for an hour at a time. Add Aaron Wan-Bissaka, who lifted the team the minute he came back on Wednesday; Rapha Varane, who’s not been playing badly, even if it’s partly because he’s not been playing much; and Sergio Reguilon, who is erratic but the only fit left-back. (If you can recall Alvaro Fernandez from Granada, do.) Stick with Sofyan Amrabat, because Casemiro is injured again, and because Amrabat just might be the poor man’s N’golo Kanté, when he adjusts to the pace of the Premier League.
(5) Pick forwards on past form. Up front nobody is in good nick, so the best bet is to stick with players who managed some goal involvements back in the halcyon days of September. Restore Bruno to No 10, as the tip of a midfield diamond. Play Hojlund and Rashford for their pace, pushing them wider than in the derby. And don’t bother with a right-winger until Amad is fit to show Antony how it’s done. So the team is: Onana; Wan-Bissaka, Maguire, Varane, Reguilon; Amrabat, McTominay, Eriksen, Fernandes; Hojlund, Rashford. Bring on Mainoo for Eriksen, Garnacho for Rashford (or Hojlund), Dan Gore for Amrabat if he’s struggling, and Mount for Fernandes to keep him reasonably fresh for Copenhagen. Add Joe Hugill to the bench, so Hojlund isn’t the only target man in town. Of course, it may not work, but it’s a plan. If you have a better one, use it.
Tim de Lisle, a United fan since the days when they were usually eighth, is the editor of United Writing and a sportswriter at The Guardian.