From half-time onwards, United were McDead
Erik ten Hag messed up by discarding Sofyan Amrabat, moving Scott McTominay back and leaving a makeshift defence exposed
FIVE ASIDES Premier League: United 0, City 3
We never really expected a win, did we? Not when we saw the team sheet. No Varane, no Casemiro, as well as no Martinez or Shaw. United had an entire reserve defence, with one centre-back filling in on the left and two in the middle who loomed large in Leicester’s mid-table team of five years ago. Erik ten Hag went with an XI that had never lined up before – and, with a bit of luck, never will again.
This wasn’t merely a derby. It was, or should have been, a homage to Bobby Charlton. United’s maligned executives managed to stage a dignified tribute, complete with some old stagers. A gaggle of Charlton’s team mates and local rivals came out to join the two teams on the centre circle – Pat Crerand, Mike Summerbee, Alex Stepney, Tony Book, John Aston Jr, Brian Kidd. They made a touching sight with their black suits and white hair, their sad smiles and fond embraces. But only the City veterans went on to enjoy their day out.
United started busily, pressing hard and picking a few pockets. Rasmus Hojlund was making his presence felt, built like a security man, behaving more like a shoplifter. Soon the game settled down into a pattern – a blue one, because City are all about the pattern and United, who just about had one last season, have now lost it. Hojlund then put himself about in a bad way, manhandling Rodri, who was wily enough to make a scene without getting booked for a dive. Erling Haaland, pumped up by the dismal chants aimed at his dad, wasn't going to miss the penalty. But as they went off at half-time, United hadn’t conceded in open play, André Onana had pulled off a great point-blank save from Haaland, and they were in the position Gary Neville had identified as the minimum required – still in the game, hoping for the goals on the counter that had come late on in the previous home derby.
Then Ten Hag made a fateful decision. He took Sofyan Amrabat off, brought Mason Mount on and asked Scott McTominay, who had been finding some space as a false 10, to move back and form a one-man pivot. One man! Against Bernardo Silva and his orchestra of highly trained attacking midfielders. It was McFred without Fred, who has been missed in all the big games since he left with his willingness to play the tireless terrier. From that moment on, United’s hopes were McDead. Mount is so out of form that he might as well be an England cricketer. Given a full 45 minutes here, he was the invisible man, taking only 14 touches, completing a pitiful five passes, twice changing position (from centre-mid to the right wing and back again), never making an impression. You wouldn’t have known that he had once created the winner against City in a Champions League final.
United’s ropey old defence couldn’t cope without Amrabat to protect them. They packed their own penalty area but forgot to mark Haaland, who headed one goal and made another for Phil Foden. The only surprise was that half an hour elapsed between the two blows. The second half was horribly one-sided. United had one good chance, when Christian Eriksen sent in an elegant through ball, but Marcus Rashford, twisting to shake off Kyle Walker, screwed his shot wide. You have to take your chances against stronger teams and the only marksman in any sort of form for United is McTominay, who had been shifted too far back to make a difference. Ahead of the derby a consensus seemed to emerge among the pundits that Ten Hag was now doing no better than Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. This performance, alas, did nothing to contradict that.
Tim de Lisle, a United fan since the days of Stepney and co, is the editor of United Writing and a sportswriter at The Guardian who had the dubious honour of live-blogging the derby.