FIVE ASIDES Premier League: United 0, Watford 0
It was just one of those days – but United’s problem under Ralf Rangnick is that they haven’t had just one of those days. They’ve had a whole series: Wolves home, Villa away, Burnley away, Middlesbrough home, Southampton home. This, as Bruno Fernandes said, was Middlesbrough all over again. They didn’t have a hatful of chances – they had enough to fill a hat shop. If the game had ended in penalties, Watford would probably have won.
Fernandes and Cristiano Ronaldo were bickering like an old married couple. First Ronaldo took a shot when Fernandes was unmarked to his left. Then Fernandes took a shot when Ronaldo was unmarked to his right. You only get away with that sort of selfishness if you score. They’re the kind of couple we’ve all come across – half the time they seem perfectly compatible, and the other half you’re thinking ‘What on earth did they see in each other?’
The difference between them in this game was that Fernandes – captain for the day – wasn’t moaning at anyone else. ‘Whingebags’ was what Gary Neville called United when they drew at Newcastle after Christmas ( a result that looks better now than it did then). Ever since, Ronaldo has been doing his best to live up to that label. He’s been so famous for so long that he thinks not in Portuguese, nor in English, but in back-page photos. On a bad day like this one, he’s all hangdog histrionics and no killer instinct. There’s an old song that goes ‘I was 37, you were 17.’ Ronaldo is both at once: his legs are 37 while his pride is 17, unable to cope with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – and an offside law that he should know better than anyone in the game.
As a performance, this was far better than Madrid. It was much like Leeds, apart from the four goals. United’s xG was 2.9, whereas at Elland Road it had been 2.7. Rangnick started with a midfield diamond for the first time (I think), to fit Paul Pogba in with a double pivot behind him, which felt a bit defensive but largely worked. Pogba played more in the middle than on the left, and that was fine because Alex Telles, officially the left-back, was almost as much of a winger as Anthony Elanga on the right. Elanga was a livewire again – but just like his elders and not-necessarily-betters, he squandered some big chances.
Rangnick’s game management regressed. His substitutions were straight from the Solskjaer school: throw on more strikers and hope for some magic. For the last 20 minutes the formation was more like a 4-1-5, with Pogba as the one. To be fair, any other manager would have sent on Jadon Sancho and Marcus Rashford too – but not many would have had them replacing the holding midfielders. And a more creative boss than Rangnick would surely have seen that this was the moment to send on Juan Mata. He’s not just United’s leading lock-picker, he’s one of their coolest finishers. As it is, United have managed to play Watford twice without winning, and the two points lost here will have to be clawed back in one of the next two games where United weren’t expecting any joy – at either the Etihad or Anfield.