Narrowly battered
United scored three times in Munich, yet they never looked like winning
FIVE ASIDES Champions League: Bayern 4, United 3
Isn’t it great to be back in the Champions League? The buzz, the glamour, the sense of occasion … there’s just one problem. You’re apt to come up against champions. This was a mismatch: a team who really know how to score facing a team who really know how to concede. The scoreline only told half the story. On a night when what they most needed was to avoid humiliation, United just about managed it. They were narrowly battered.
To be fair, two of the goals that undid them were random. The first was a clanger by André Onana, of the kind David de Gea became prone to in his latter days; the third a clanger by the VAR, because the ball had surely hit Christian Eriksen on the shoulder, not the arm. And yet Bayern were by far the better team. Their other two goals were superb, whereas two of United’s three were scrappy and the third was a flick-on from a free kick. The goals were better than nothing, a boost for the goal difference, and a way for a makeshift team to leave the Allianz Arena with their pride just about intact. But let’s face it, United never looked like winning from the moment Facundo Pellistri and Eriksen failed to take those inviting chances in the fifth minute.
Some individuals did manage to do well. Rasmus Hojlund delivered on some of his early promise by scoring his first non-disallowed goal for United. Anthony Martial was back to his elegant best in a ten-minute cameo that included an assist. Pellistri, making only his second United start, put in a conscientious shift to keep Alphonso Davies quiet. Marcus Rashford was poor at tracking back but purposeful as a creator, getting involved (49 touches, one more than Casemiro, five more than Eriksen), playing as a winger (not one shot), giving his right-back the run-around, supplying Hojlund with a poacher’s goal, and taking Bruno Fernandes’s place at the top of the United table for shot-creating actions (five, to Bruno’s two). Casemiro showed that even if his defensive nous has mysteriously gone missing, his nose for a chance is still there. He is now easily United’s leading scorer this season, with three, the same as all the forwards between them (one each to Rashford, Fernandes and Hojlund). Two last-gasp goals against Bayern! Casemiro may have been reading up on United’s glorious past. This was history repeating itself, but instead of a coronation, it was a consolation.
The most dangerous moment is meant to be when you've just scored. For United in their present state, there are two equally dangerous moments: when they've just scored and when they've just conceded. If they let in a goal, they seem to have no idea how to tighten up and calm down. Their only clean sheet this season, against Wolves, came about through a miscarriage of justice. They must be so much fun to play against. What should be a stern examination has become more like a night out: opposing forwards can put on their dancing shoes, as Leroy Sane and Jamal Musiala confirmed. Sofyan Amrabat’s job description, if and when he’s fit, becomes ever clearer. He will have to be the party pooper.
What comes next in this sequence: 2, 2, 3, 3, 4 …? That's how many goals United have shipped in their last five games. Mind you, their next assignment is at Turf Moor, where visiting teams in the Premier League have scored 3, 3 and 5. Brace yourself for a 4-4.
Tim de Lisle, a United fan since the days of Jimmy Rimmer, is the editor of United Writing and a sportswriter at The Guardian, where he’ll be live-blogging the Burnley game on Saturday night. If you’re on Twitter, do follow him and United Writing.